The best way to edit for publication is to do all the things below as you write and then you don’t have to edit. But since that rarely happens, these are the things I’ve been able to glean  through study and my experience of getting published. 

To coin a phrase from Editing for the Fiction Writer by Renni Browne and Dave King, “Today’s literature is leaner and meaner.” Because we are competing with the visual media of television and movies we must make our writing as visual as possible and as immediate.  In order to do that you must pare your writing down to the bare necessities. Every word must have a purpose. You must make every scene unfold as though it is happening in “real time.” You do that in several different ways. But all of it falls under one premise, Show don’t tell.

POV- Point of View.  In order to make your reader lose themselves in the world you create you must make the Point of View of your main characters as deep as possible. Using sensory detail   will deepen the POV and allow the reader to experience the characters physical exploration of their world first hand.

This means that you must tie your character physically to their world.  You must see every event through their eyes. Experience every touch, taste, or smell through their senses and every feeling through their emotions. And sometimes even think like them.

Highland Moonlight Hook

At the unexpected sound of booted steps in the narrow passageway, Mary concealed herself in the rock wall’s craggy surface. The smell of peat smoke hung acrid

and strong in the confined space. With every breath, she tasted it. Water trickled like perpetual rain from deep within the hillside. She hoped its movement would cover

the uneven sound of her breathing.

 

“Mary?” The sound of her name echoed through the cave.

 

She recognized her father’s voice and the thick white hair that brushed his shoulders. Another man accompanied him, his face indiscernible in the dim light.

 

Bracing the weight of the crossbow against her hip, her fingers found the trigger. She stepped from the shadows, careful to keep the fire between herself and the

men. “‘Tis here I am, Father.”

 

Both turned at the sound of her voice. Recognition sent a tremor  of shock racing through her, and she stumbled back, swallowing a gasp. With a practiced jerk, she leveled the crossbow at the larger of the two.

 

Her father threw out a hand stilling the man’s stride toward her. “Loose the arrow, Mary, and you will have murdered an unarmed man.”

To deepen POV further you paint a visual picture of their emotions and the reasons behind them.

 

Highland Moonlight

What purpose could he have in bringing Alexander to this place?

Almost as though he heard the thought, Collin said, “He has come to set things aright, lass.”

 

She shook her head. How obtuse her father could be. “Surely you know that can not be done.”

 

“Aye, it can if you will allow it, Mary,” Alexander said, his deep voice echoing through the chamber.

 

Those few words flayed her soul with promises that could not be. Her throat grew tight and thick with instant tears. She blinked quickly to clear her vision.

 

“You can not stay here alone much longer, lass,” Collin said.

 

“Not now you have seen fit to bring the likes of him about.” Her brittle tone was rewarded by the fierce scowls of both men.

 

“I have signed the betrothal contract with Alexander. I have given my oath. You will marry him.”

 

Overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness, she fell silent. If he were any kind of father, he would not ask this of her.

 

When describing characters give enough visual detail to allow the reader to see the character but not so much that it doesn’t leave room for growth. Allow some of your POV character’s emotion to creep into their descriptions it will strike an emotional cord with the reader.

Highland Moonlight

When no threat appeared, her gaze settled on the man responsible for her plight. Heavy brows, the same dark chestnut as his hair, came together in a fierce frown over a straight well-shaped nose. Thick auburn lashes surrounded his pale amber eyes, their tawny wolfish hue startling and unusual. The generous curve of his bottom lip promised both humor and passion. A heavy beard colored his lean jaw a rusty hue, underlining the strong masculinity of his features.

 

A fresh wave of pain assaulted her just from looking at him. “You can not expect me to abide by the contract now.”

 

To deepen the POV and make things as immediate as possible you limit the number of times you use a character’s name. In scenes when only two people are involved, he and she are less obtrusive than a name and don’t break the flow of the words.

 In moments of internal dialogue, characters don’t think of themselves by their names so don’t use them, use he or she.  So read through carefully and eliminate names as much as possible in these two instances.

Highland Moonlight

“Why did you offer me the bairn, Mary? I know you do not wish to be parted from him.”

 

“‘Tis better for him to be accepted into your clan than mine. He’ll have the safety of a father to care for him, rather than a grandsire who will use him or abuse him.”

 

“You know Collin well,” he said.

 

“Aye.” The huskiness of her tone tinted the word with pain. Though she kept her head bent, he glimpsed her tear stained cheeks and red nose. He eased closer, driven by a

need to comfort her.

 

She fell silent for a moment then raised her gaze to the stone structure behind him. “He will be a Campbell and he will never have to know what ‘tis to have a foot in two clans, and never truly belong to either. He’ll know what ‘tis to owe his loyalty to only one and be accepted without question.”

 

Something in her expression brought a tightness to Alexander’s chest. “I do not wish to raise my son or daughter alone. A bairn needs its mother.”

 

She remained silent.

 

Grasping her chin with his fingertips, he turned up her face. “Will you allow your hate for me to deprive our child of your care and affection, as you were deprived of

your mother’s?”

 

Her blue gaze traced his features with a pain that weighted the pit of his stomach with stones of guilt. “I did not wish to hate you, Alexander. I wanted very much to

care for you because you were to be my husband.”

 

The knowledge that she had meant to accept him, struck him with the force of a battle-ax and he drew a deep breath.

 

She raised her chin. “‘Twas a lifetime ago when I was innocent enough to trust you. ‘Twill not happen again.”

Incorporate backstory into your writing in a way that it isn’t just backstory,  but is tied to your characters emotions. So you can tie it to your reader’s emotions too. And don’t be afraid of using the word had when referring to things that have happened in the past.

I’ve noticed of late that some writers have so deleted the word “ had” from their vocabulary that though their writing may be grammatically correct , it doesn’t read so.

And that’s what’s important about the writing, the reading and the reader.

 

Highland Moonlight

He had been a warrior too long. He had known nothing but fear and death, blood and ruthlessness. But even when he had killed in the name of his king and his country, he had believed himself to be an honorable man.  But that night, he had not behaved as one. His belief that his actions would force Collin to honor the betrothal contract had given him an excuse to act with as little honor as the Mac Lachlan Laird. And he had done so. He

hadn’t wanted to lose her, but his own actions had insured he would.

 

Don’t use dialogue tags other than said.  Said is almost invisible where any other dialogue tag captures the attention and drags them out of the story.

You want to draw the reader into your story and delete anything that will draw attention to the techniques you use to write.

 Use “beats” or physical movements and body language to avoid using even said as much as possible.  This also opens the opportunity of adding visual clues for your readers that will allow them to gain an internal understanding of your characters.

Captive Hearts Hook

“I do not know why you feel you must accompany me.” Edward’s peevish whine sounded as annoying as a rusty gate.

 

Katherine braced her hand on the leather seat as the coach turned a steep curve. “You are arranging my marriage, Uncle. Do you not think I should take an interest in the man to whom you are going to promise me?”

 

“Lord Willingham has assured me his nephew is an honorable man, Katherine.”

 

“A man of honor imprisoned for smuggling. Forgive me if I have some reservations.”

 

Edward drew a deep breath, his long beaked nose contracting. “It was a misunderstanding between him and Lord Rudman. His release has been arranged for tomorrow.”

 

“If he agrees.”

 

“Living for two months in such conditions is enough to test any man’s mettle. He will agree.”

 

She pushed aside the leather shade covering the coach window and looked out at the rain-washed London streets. She took care to control her expression and her voice so he would see none of the fury seething within her.

 

How could he be so callous? “Does it not trouble you that in order to get a man to wed me, you must threaten him with prison?”

 

Edward’s gray brows drew together in a frown, his thin face hardening with displeasure. “A husband who will be regaining his freedom, his ship, and his profits, because of you, will have sufficient reason to pledge his loyalty.”

 

She straightened her shoulders. A loyalty thrust down his throat by threats would mean little once they were at sea on his ship. She shuddered at the possible mistreatment she might suffer at the hands of such a man.

 

“A marriage was to be arranged for you sooner or later, Katherine.” He stretched his thin legs out and appeared to study the careful alignment of knee breeches, stockings, and shoes. He pulled a lace-trimmed handkerchief from his sleeve and bent to rub away a

muddy smudge from the toe of his expensive leather footwear. “Had your father lived he would have seen to it himself.”

 

“Your eagerness to fulfill your duty as my guardian is touching, Uncle.” Her sarcasm earned an exasperated snort.

 

“I am doing what I think best. I am eager for you to leave all this unpleasantness behind you. If seeing you wed to a Yankee will insure that, so be it.”

 

Unpleasantness! Her entire family lay dead and he resented the inconvenience their demise had caused him.

 

Delete as many ings and as ‘s as possible. As’s and  ing words are used, most of the time, when two actions happen at the same time. If you do use them, use them  sparingly..

Captive Hearts .  

Pretending calmness she didn’t feel, she settled back into the corner of the seat and brushed away a small piece of lint from the skirt of her black gown. She would bide

her time. Once Edward was lulled into complacency, she would do as she pleased.

 

Adjusting the hood of her cloak over her hair, Katherine paused in the open door, her attention focused on the large flat-roofed building before her. Wet stone mirrored the gray of the clouds overhead. Barred windows and heavy wooden doors gave the impression of brooding malevolence. Rust stained the stone facings around the bars as though the walls wept tears of blood.

 

Use dashes to show interruptions in dialogue and ellipses  for when the words trail off.

 

Delete as many ly words as possible.  I have used them in the past, but never in dialogue tags. Your writing will be stronger if you seek other ways of describing actions rather than depending on adverbs.  And be careful not to use adverbs as adjectives. Ex.  He slowly moved to the carriage.  Correct use: He walked slowly to the carriage.  Better: His pace rambling and slow, he strolled to the carriage.

 

Captive Hearts

“You can’t be serious.” Matthew Hamilton shook his head in amazement. “If I’d wanted another wife, I’d be wed already.”

 

“What do you mean another wife?” his visitor demanded, his eyes wide with surprise.

 

“My nephew’s wife, Caroline, died in childbirth four years ago, Edward,” Talbot Willingham explained.

 

“Good—ah,” Edward faltered.

 

The man’s callousness caught Matthew by surprise and he focused on him through narrowed eyes.

 

Edward’s cheeks turned a ruddy color. “I mean—it is good there is no obstacle to the union between you and my niece, Captain Hamilton.”

 

Matthew suppressed a sneer. “There is, Leighton. I don’t wish to remarry. I’d say that was obstacle enough.”

 

“You do not seem to understand, sir. Either you agree to the marriage, or you remain here in this place-- indefinitely.”

 

Matthew looked to Talbot. His uncle’s nod gave him pause. The marks on the wall just behind the straw cot where he slept caught his eye. He had no need to count

them. He had spent two months and one week in this hellish place.

 

“On completion of the marriage ceremony, your ship and the proceeds from the sale of the cargo will be released to you. You will be free to return to America, with my niece of course.”

 

“Free, but not free.” Bitterness rose in him. First they imprisoned him for a crime he didn’t commit and now they wished to foist a wife on him. “What is wrong with

this woman that you must go to such lengths to find her a husband?”

 

Edward straightened his skinny frame, his long nose flaring with indignation. “Why there is nothing wrong with Katherine, unless you count being quick of wit and strong of will as faults.”

 

She was probably a harridan. “How old would this-- maid be?”

 

“She will be ten and nine the first of December, Captain Hamilton. Young enough to provide you many children, yet old enough to allay the boredom of having wed a child right out of the school room.”

 

Leighton had missed his calling. He would have made a gifted auctioneer or perhaps a slave trader.

 

 

Frequent paragraphing can quicken the pacing in your writing. Especially when used with dialogue and internal dialogue. White space draws attention to moments of strong emotion. So look for those strong emotions and use the white of the page to set them off.

Action-Reaction-  Read through your manuscript and make sure you haven’t reversed these things. Especially in action sequences. 

Captive Hearts

The momentum of Matthew’s stride carried him forward, and he punched Edward in the face and felt the satisfying crunch of bone beneath his fist. Blood spurted, the powerful stroke driving the man backward, his arms flailing as he sought to regain his balance. He struck the bulkhead of the quarterdeck with a meaty thud, staggered, then fell to the deck. He lay writhing upon the bleached planks, holding his nose and squealing in pain.

Using similes and metaphors that are connected to your characters, their culture, or their time period will create a theme throughout the story. Tying your character’s emotions to something concrete in their world, offers the reader a visual clue or association, and draws them further into the story.  It also makes it easier to write fresh ones because you have a frame of reference from which to work.

Highland Moonlight

Rage as hot as a smith’s forge flared within him.

 

Confronted by his mistress, the images that had thrust into her mind, ate at her heart like a hungry wolf.

 

The rising moon reflected on the breeze-rippled surface of the dark water, like the myriad dance of fireflies.

 

Captive Hearts

 

The woman’s blond, tightly curled locks hung against her shoulder like fat caterpillars crawling across the deep emerald gown she wore.

 

He drew himself up like a scrawny rooster, an image reinforced by the large flounce of white lace and silk protruding from the lapel of his waistcoat like the breast feathers of a cock. With his bony legs braced apart and his beaky nose high in the air, he looked as though he might crow as well.

 

The light muslin shift she wore followed the contours of her body like a lover’s hand

 

 

Avoid using words such as thought, felt, hoped, remembered.  They tell instead of show.

It’s impossible to weed them all out. I’ve used them all in internal dialogue, but tried to cut as many as I could without compromising the story.

Don’t edit so much you destroy your voice.  Every writer who has been in a critique group has heard this. But when editing your own writing, be careful not to tighten and delete so much you ruin your own special way of putting together words. Your voice is your most precious commodity as a writer.  It’s what makes your writing stand out amongst the crowd. So take special pains not edit it out for the sake of saving a word here or there.   

 

Last, but possibly the most important thing you can do is read every one of your written words aloud. Hearing the rhythm of the written words will help guarantee that you catch mistakes.

The last time I went through both my manuscripts, my editor at The Wild Rose Press, Nicola Martinez, said, “Read through like a reader now instead of a writer.”  It’s important that every word you’ve written is geared toward inspiring an emotional response in your reader. The language you’ve used, the proportion of your sentences, all have to fit together in an easy ebb and flow that the reader can enjoy. You want to draw them into the story and play upon their heartstrings, not intrude upon their ability to lose themselves in what you’ve written by pointing out your writing skills.

  

From my current WIP SEALed With A Kiss:An example of editing for publication.

 

 She glanced up at him. “Did you really warn all of them to stay away from me?”

 

     His expression grew guarded. “Not exactly.”

 

     She folded her arms and leaned back against the counter. “Then why don’t you explain to me exactly what you did say.”

 

     His features tightened. “I told them I didn’t think Cutter would appreciate one of his fellow team mates trying to nail his sister. And I told them to keep in mind, if they were thinking about asking you out, you weren’t the type for a one night stand.”

 

            She shook her head, unable to decide whether to be angry at his interference or touched by his protectiveness. Was he keeping his distance for the same reason, or because he just wasn’t interested?

 

“My brother doesn’t live my life for me, Hawk. I’ll sleep with whomever I want, when I want.” (She shook a finger at him.ADDED)  “And Brett’s approval or disapproval won’t have a damn thing to do with it when it happens.”

 

     He caught the waving finger and his lips quirked with amusement. “Understood.” His smile died and his gray eyes focused on her face. (His smile died and his gray eyes focused on her face, an intensity to his expression that had Zoe’s stomach quivering. EDITED PART.)

 

The sudden intensity of his expression had Zoe’s stomach quivering.  Feeling Breathless, her voice sounded weak as she said,  

“I’m not looking for your approval either.” (she said, her voice growing weak for it was suddenly hard to catch her breath. CUT AND RESTRUCTURED ABOVE)

    

“All right.”

 

     His acquiescence fired her temper and hurt her feelings and she tugged at her finger breaking his grip. Placing an arm on either side, he hemmed her in against the counter, (he moved in close,CUT ) his body, a breath away from hers. Her pulse leaped and she pressed a hand against his chest. (The heat of his skin seeped into her palm like liquid fire.)ADDED      

 

Hawk’s gray eyes narrowed.(HE SWALLOWED CUT) “I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I promised your mom I’d look out for you.”( His throat worked as he swallowed.ADD) “I don’t think fantasizing about taking her daughter to bed was exactly what she had in mind.”

 

(Zoe felt the knot of tension relax in the pit of her stomach as a bubble of excitement raced through her. A tingling heat settled between her legs.)Edited whole sentence

 

 The knot of tension in the pit of her stomach relaxed as excitement raced through her to settle, tingling and hot, between her legs. Was it possible to have an orgasm just thinking about making love? If he plastered that long, lean, masculine body up against hers, she ( CUT THOUGHT SHE ) might just achieve her very first one without his ever having to touch her.

 

“I’m trying to take things slow here, Zoe.”

 

She bit back a groan. If he went any slower, she might just dwell on all the reasons she shouldn’t get involved with him, and chicken out all together. Her eyes fastened on the hard, fast beating  ( cut of a ) pulse just beneath the skin of his throat. She rose on tip toe and pressed an open mouthed kiss there. His skin tasted of chlorine and heat.

 

He caught his breath, and his hand splayed against the small of her back and pulled her against him. The firm ridge of his arousal pushed against her stomach. When she leaned back to look up at him, he kissed her, the (cut heated) hungry pressure of his lips (CUT hungry)hot, insistent. The tempting touch of his tongue against hers intensified the empty ache inside her.

 

Zoe slid one arm around his neck and strained upward to fit herself against his tall frame more fully. She ran the other hand up his back, caressing his(the) smooth(cut ly), muscled flesh.

 

He cupped her buttocks guiding her closer, urging her legs apart as he thrust one long thigh between hers. Though she ached with need, she fought the compulsion to (CUT wiggle)rub against the steady pressure of his leg. Hawk had no such reservation. He rocked against her, and Zoe groaned as the movement titillated the over-sensitized area between her thighs driving her closer to the edge.

 

 “Daddy does that to Mommy, sometimes.” The sound of a child’s voice had them both (CUT GOING STILL)freezing.

 

Hawk broke the kiss, his breathing a little ragged, his cheeks flushed. He looked toward the door leading out onto the deck. “I bet.” He shifted putting some space between his lower body and hers.

 

Zoe stifled a sound somewhere between a laugh and a groan. At least the counter had blocked from view what else had been going on. She turned to look over her shoulder at seven year old Oliver, the oldest of the Marks children,(CUT AS HE STOOD AT THE DOOR). His red blond hair, still wet from the pool, stood on end, but there was nothing in his expression that warranted concern.

 

 “Mommy said the burgers were ready when you were.”

 

Ready? Her face and ears burned with embarrassment.

 

Hawk’s gaze dropped to hers, amusement in his expression. “Tell your mom, we’ll be right there, Oliver.”

 

The door shut behind the boy.

 

Feeling exposed and vulnerable, Zoe turned her back to Hawk. “I was supposed to be slicing tomatoes and onions for the burgers.” He pressed against her from behind and her legs grew rubbery and weak. The soft warmth of his lips against the back of her neck, sent delightful shivers down her spine.

 

     “I’ll slice the tomatoes, while you do the onions.” He gathered three tomatoes in one hand and moved to the sink.

 

     (“CUT Thanks.”) His touch lingered on her skin, and she had to concentrate on slowing her breathing. She wrinkled her nose at him. “Let me guess, aside from the smell, you just don’t want me to see you cry.”

 

            “Sweetheart, I almost did when Oliver opened that door.”

 

Bibliography

 

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, How to edit yourself into print by Renni Browne and Dave King, Published by Harper Collins, 2004, ISBN 0060545690.

 

Highland Moonlight by Teresa Reasor, Published by The Wild Rose Press, 2007, ISBN 1-60154-050-7

 

Captive Hearts by Teresa Reasor, Published by The Wild Rose Press, 2007, ISBN 1-60154-075-2

 

Sealed With A Kiss by Teresa Reasor Copywrite 2007.