Recently I began to do some major editing to a manuscript I wrote some time ago.   Because I had written an entire book about the characters, and had lived with them in my head and my heart for more than a year, I believed I could jump right back into the story with no problem.  Wrong--

            I had made changes to my manuscript that had forced my characters to evolve right along with the other elements of my story.  They had grown and changed, and no longer wanted to act or react as they had before.  It was all right that they were strangers to one another; most stories start out that way.  However, they were strangers to me too and I couldn’t get them to talk to each other or to me.

            I decided to take a step back and get to know these new people.  I also decided to do some research on dialogue.  When my characters were finally ready to speak, I wanted their voices to be distinctive and their words to convey more than just information.

            Why do we write dialogue?  Because dialogue makes a story come to life.  It tells more about our characters than the prose we write.  It defines them as individuals through the manner in which they speak, their inflections, word choices, and speech patterns.  It expresses their emotions and their attitudes.    Dialogue offers us information about our character’s age, social status, educational background and the setting they live in.  In short, it does more to establish a character than the physical descriptions we give them or the actions we attribute to them.  Dialogue and internal dialogue is the soul of the story because it acts as the key to your character’s hearts and minds.  

          W e could get into a discussion about character driven stories or plot driven stories, but we won’t, because there’s no need.  All stories are character driven.  The plot is just a framework; it’s the characters and their words that breath life into the story.  It’s the balance between the dialogue and the narrative that controls the pacing of a book, not the plot.  Dialogue enhances the prose and moves everything along. 

            You’re asking how?  How many of you have read Joseph Conrad or Herman Melville?  Show of hands, please.  For all the greatness of their words, how many of you thought the pacing in Lord Jim and Moby Dick was slow as molasses?  (Granted Melville may have had a problem because his whale couldn’t talk.)  Both these books may be great works of literature, but in today’s market, they’d bomb big time, because both are heavy on narrative and low on dialogue.  Dialogue and internal dialogue imparts the information you want your readers to receive without heavy-handed prose to hold the flow of the story back. 

            How do we write good dialogue?  Knowing your characters and knowing them well enables you to write good dialogue.  If you’re intimately aware of their feelings, attitudes, and backgrounds, you will know how they will act and react.  You’ll know how they will respond to one another.  They will have something to say to one another. 

            Your characters are individuals, so giving them distinctive voices of their own is important.  Using their attitudes to color their dialogue will offer you a way to contrast your character’s personality and make their words individual.   Underlining your character’s differences in the way they speak, their word choices, will enable you to eliminate dialogue tags and keep the pacing of your dialogue upbeat.      

            Tags often disrupt the flow of conversation.  Try using body language to enhance dialogue instead.  I’m not referring to the habitual gestures your characters affect.  Those, if overused, can become repetitive and boring.  I mean their posture when faced with emotional situations, the way they move, turn their heads, and the fleeting expressions that cross their features when they speak or hold back words.  It will infuse action into your scenes and add more dimension to your characters.

 

As an example of some of these things, I’ll use my current WIP, Katherine. 

            “A marriage was to be arranged for you sooner or later, Katherine.”  Edward stretched his thin legs out and appeared to study the careful alignment of knee breeches, stockings, and shoes.  He drew a lace-trimmed handkerchief from his sleeve and bent to rub away a smudge of mud from the toe of his expensive leather footwear.  “Had your father lived he would have seen to it himself.”

            “Your eagerness to fulfill your duty as my guardian is touching, Uncle.”  She did not try to hide the sarcasm in her tone.

            A sound of exasperated impatience escaped him.  “I’m doing what I think best, Katherine.  I’m eager for you to leave all this unpleasantness behind you.  If seeing you wed to a Yankee will insure that, so be it.”

            Unpleasantness!  Her entire family lay dead and he resented the inconvenience their demise had caused him.

            His brows lowering into a scowl, Edward avoided her gaze as he fidgeted with the lacy sleeve that draped about his hand.   “I know you had hoped to see the men responsible captured, Katherine.”  He stuffed the handkerchief back into place.  “I’m certain that justice will be done, but it will be left to others to see to it, not you.  Once you are wed, you’ll have other responsibilities to consider.”

            He thought to distract her with a husband and all the demands that entailed.  Rage twisted about her throat and made it difficult for her to breath.  It took several moments for her to beat back those emotions.

            With deceptive calm, she settled back into the corner of the seat and brushed away a small piece of lint from the skirt of her black gown.  She would bide her time and once Edward was lulled into complacency, she would do as she pleased.

             Edward through his speech identifies himself as an educated man.  His position as both Katherine’s guardian and her uncle is explained through their conversation as is the fact that he has the power to arrange her marriage. We are clued that they are both English aristocracy by these facts.   His self- absorbed foppish behavior during their conversation underscores his rather callous unconcern for Katherine’s circumstances or her grief.  In less than a page, we know that he is eager to be rid of his niece and is forcing her into marriage against her will.

            Through the tone of her dialogue and her internal dialogue, we see that Katherine is outraged by his unconcern and resentful of his control.    We see that she has learned to hide her emotions in order to get around him.   She is young enough to need a guardian and to have a marriage arranged for her, but mature enough to have learned some self-control.  

            Throughout the exchange, there are no dialogue tags, but body language and attitude is used to differentiate the characters and give them more depth.

                 What your characters say outright to one another, or talk around, can convey more about the conflict between them than all the narrative you can write.  Tension and suspense can be built by talking around a subject without really addressing it directly.  When characters do this, it titillates the reader and compels them to keep reading.  

Energy in the dialogue between characters is a must.  Stutters, stammers, and dashes, all disrupt the flow.   Conversations must be compressed to convey information, attitude, emotion, and conflict to drive the story forward.  Pacing conversations so that they have a rhythm of serve and return, like a good tennis match, will add spirit and energy to the dialogue.

 As an example, I’ll return to Katherine. 

“You can’t be serious!”  Matthew Hamilton shook his head in amazement.  “If I’d wanted another wife, I’d be wed already.”

“What do you mean another wife?” Edward demanded his eyes wide with surprise.

“My nephew’s wife, Caroline, died in child birth four years ago, Lord Leighton,” Talbot Willingham explained, his tone short.

“Good—ah,” Edward faltered at the slight.   His expression grew alarmed as Matthew focused his unwavering attention upon him.  “I mean- it is good that there is no obstacle to the union between you and my niece, Captain Hamilton.”

“Aye, there is, Leighton.  I don’t wish to remarry.  I’d say that was obstacle enough.”

“You don’t seem to understand, Sir.  Either you agree to the betrothal and marriage, or you remain here in this place indefinitely.”

Matthew’s gaze swung to Talbot.  His uncle’s nod gave him pause.  His attention focused on the marks upon the wall just behind the straw cot where he slept.  He had no need to count them.  He has spent two months and one week in this hellish place. 

“On completion of the marriage ceremony, your ship and the proceeds from the sell of the cargo will be released to you.  You’ll be free to return to American, with my niece of course.”

“Free, but not free.”  Bitterness rose in him.  First imprisoned for a crime he did not commit and now they wished to foist a wife upon him.  “What’s wrong with this woman that you must go to such lengths to find a mate for her?”

Edward straightened his skinny frame, his long nose flaring with indignation.  “Why there is nothing wrong with Katherine, unless you count being quick of wit and strong of will as faults.”

She was probably a harridan.  “How old would this maid be?”

“She’ll be ten and nine the first of December, Captain Hamilton.  Young enough to be capable of providing for you many children, yet old enough to allay the boredom of having wed a child right out of the school room.”

Edward Leighton had missed his calling.  He would have been a talented auctioneer or perhaps a slave trader.

Through the conversation between Matthew Hamilton and Edward, we know that Matthew is resentful and resistant to the marriage.  We can also tell he is bitter and angry about his situation.  The exchange between he and Edward is filled with information, but it also has an undercurrent of distrust because a great deal has been left out.  The energy in the scene is derived from the pacing of the dialogue, but also in the judgments about each other that the characters are making.  Edward is wary of the colonial Captain, and Matthew is contemptuous of him, purposely avoiding addressing him as Lord Leighton to show him respect.   The tension between them is psychological more than physical.  Their conversation has been compressed to infuse information into the scene, but also to build the conflict in the relationship between the two men of nemesis and hero.

          The most important piece of information I have derived through my research on dialogue is be honest and true to your characters.  Don’t put words in their mouths that are trivial.  Use their words to convey what is important to them and their story.  Don’t simplify your characters by spelling out every thought or feeling they have.  Build on their complexities and the things they don’t or won’t say as much as the things they do. 

          And one last thing, from an editor’s point of view, if you must use profanity, use it sparingly. 

           To quote Stephen King, “Talk, whether ugly or beautiful is an index of character; it can also be a breath of cool, refreshing air in a room some people would prefer to keep shut.  In the end, the important question has nothing to do with whether the talk in your story is sacred or profane; the only question is how it rings on the page and in the ear.” 

            Make all your words ring true, make them count.  Speak them aloud and listen to them carefully.

            Now that my research is done and I’ve spent some time getting to know my characters, inside and out, I’m ready to get back to writing.  Katherine, Matthew, speak to me.

 

Bibliography

Stephen King, On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft, Pocket Books, 2000.

T. MacDonald Skillman, Writing the Thriller, Writer Digest Books, 2000.

Linda Seger, Creating Unforgettable Characters,  An Owl Book, Henry Holt and Co., 1990.

Joanne Reid, Write a Novel in Ten Weeks, www.reporters.net/jbreid/course10weeks.htm

Pam McCutcheon, Dialogue Tips, www.pammc.com/dialogue.htm